It begins.

So, after yesterday’s explanation of what has been going on with Saul and Tina, I decided to just start the ball rolling on getting to the bottom of this. I found Tina on Facebook and sent her this message (I have only edited the names to post here, I used the real names in the message):

It has been brought to my attention that the conversations and text messages between Saul and myself, and Saul and other people are being intercepted. He has also told me that you claim to have a friend and ex-classmate who works for the FBI who is relaying the information to you. My attorney and myself would like his name.

It was promptly marked as seen and then I was blocked. Imagine that. I wonder why she wouldn’t give me his name. Maybe because he doesn’t exist?

After a few well placed phone calls I have found out that recording me without my knowledge and then using that information is a very serious crime. Impersonating a Federal Agent is even more serious. Of course, I only know what Saul has told me. He assures me she has said she has heard a lot of our conversations, as well as others Saul has had with other people. After speaking to him he assured me everything he has told me up to the point is truth and he will be honest with investigators as they try to get to the bottom of this. Can’t wait for the truth to come out and the drama to stop.
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Not unhappy, again.

WeddingThere has been too much conversation lately about how I should be married. My friends suck. They mean well, but sometimes I don’t think they know me at all. They are all mostly happily married and want me to be happy too. I’m not unhappy, but I don’t think being married would make me happy. I think they have forgotten what I have said for the past 5+ years, yet they are planning my hypothetical wedding. And why, with all my epic failed relationships, do they almost always come to me for advice when they have problems? I am not the expert, nor a role model.

But, why am I not married? I’m stubborn. I’m set in my ways and my ways are the best. I don’t share well. If I want to do something, I do it. I like expensive shoes and electronics. I quote random song lyrics at inappropriate times. I want him around when I want him around, and I can’t be forced to be in his company. My solitude is very important. I’m grouchy. I trust no one. When I don’t get a joke, I’m pissed. I would rather go to a funeral than a wedding. I’m selfish. I rant—a lot. I want to smoke every minute of every day, although I limit myself to one puff every month or so. I have unrealistic expectations. Although I consider myself a modern woman, I still like most stereotypical gender rolls—I will vacuum, he will take out the trash. I sleep in the middle of the bed. I overthink everything. I still talk to a lot of my exes. I am super private. I’m kinda bossy. I have only one feeling and I guard is fiercely. I sometimes don’t answer my phone for days or weeks, but I always expect him to answer his. I will probably never let anyone completely in. I am not responsible enough to be part of someone else’s happiness. When I’m in a bad mood I take it out on everyone. I am sometimes unkind.

And on the flip side: I am awesome and only want to be told once a day. I am loyal to a fault. I buy my own expensive shoes and electronics, but love unexpected surprises. I can cook very well, but love to share my kitchen. I give great gifts. I’m not afraid of getting dirty and I love to weld. I am just as comfortable in kick-ass heels as I am in my work boots, although I prefer sweatpants and a safety green t-shirt. I love unconditionally. I am full of myself and sometimes a tad condescending, but I earned it. I am very sentimental, and a tear can run down my cheek easily. I love writing and receiving love letters. Hold my hand and I will go anywhere with you.

I was supposed to write about chicken, but somehow this post happened.
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Team Brittany.

This face is one of the thousands of reasons we RELAY.
This face is one of the thousands of reasons we RELAY.

See this beautiful girl? She is the face of cancer. Spindle Cell Sarcoma—a horrible cancer that ended her life way too soon. Brittany Richardson was a 17-year-old girl who lived in a small town in Southern Illinois. She was like every other girl her age, except she fought for her life every single day for the past two years. She endured pain, loosing her hair, being poked and prodded by Doctors; but she always smiled. Just read the comments on her Facebook page and feel the love this community had for this wonderful young woman. R.I.P. Brittany Richardson.

Here’s her obituary from The Carmi Times:

Brittany P. Richardson, 17, of Norris City and formerly of New Haven, gained her wings after long battle with cancer on Tuesday, December 23, 2014 at her home surrounded by her family.

Brittany P. Richardson, 17, of Norris City and formerly of New Haven, gained her wings after a long battle with cancer on Tuesday, December 23, 2014 at her home surrounded by her family. Brittany was born in Evansville, Indiana on November 28, 1997 to her loving parents, Kevin and Tina (Fals) Richardson. Growing up she was always loving, caring and compassionate child. She attended Gallatin County School and was faithful member of the Crossroads Bible Church in Norris City. Even before her sickness she was a special person always caring for others, and when her life changed due to this she only became more special—always positive, always caring about others and mostly wanting everyone to know about God. Her contagious smile and witty and serious sayings would captivate you. If anyone ever lived her testimony it was Brittany. Peace became her by word and symbol, how ironic that is, as this world needs Peace so much right now. Brittany was a wonderful daughter, sister, granddaughter and friend. Gone but never forgotten. Peace Brittany!

Brittany is survived by her parents, Kevin an Tina (Fals) Richardson of Norris City, a brother, Clinton Richardson of Norris City, maternal grandparents, Steve and Sheila Fals of Cottonwood, IL, paternal grandparents, Jim and Kay Richardson of New Haven, IL. Great Grandparents, Nancy Fals and Janice Gross. Many uncles, aunts, cousins and friends.

Visitation for Brittany will be on Saturday, December 27, 2014 at the Crossroads Bible Church in Norris City from 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM. Her funeral service will immediately follow at the church starting at 1:00 PM. Rev. Chad Everett will officiate and interment will follow in the Union Ridge Cemetery near New Haven. Cox & Son Funeral Home is entrusted with the arrangements. In lieu of flowers the family ask donations be made the Riley’s Childrens Hospital in Indianapolis, in her memory.

Envelopes will be available at the church. You may leave note of comfort to the family at coxandson.com

To Be Determined, Part 01.

(This is a work in progress by my beautiful friend Misty. She hasn’t really figured out where to go with it, but I think it has the makings for a great story and I can’t wait to see where she takes it. -Julie)

Harrisburg

Once upon a time—wait hold on, this is no freaking fairy tale. Hell, it might not even be a good story but, I am not writing this for you. This one is for me.

My name is Misty. I live in a small, country, wanna be gangster, drug-induced town called Harrisburg. Some say “you will always come back,” I say “kind of creepy.”

Harrisburg is a southern town with a mix of all kinds.

First there are the rednecks. They are the deer huntin’, big truck muddin’, “you can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands” kind of people. These are also the hard working, get shit done, been working since they were 9 years old folks.

Then there are the wanna be “gangstas”. Their pants are saggin’ and their mouths are running. They dream of a “gangsta knot” in their pocket, but for now it’s just a bunch of $1’s with a $20 wrapped on the outside. Harrisburg is their hood, ghetto, their Chicago or Watts, although they have probably never been to either place. They talk about “running up on people”, when in reality the only thing they are “running up” is their parents’ and baby mamma’s bills. News flash, this is not Chicago, it’s just little ole’ Harrisburg, Illinois.

Let’s not forget the God-loving Christians. Of all social classes, this is the one I dislike the most. These are the holier-than-thou, bible thumping, religion pushing, “if you don’t follow who we follow then you are going to HELL” crowd. They dance with the Devil on Saturday and sing with the Saints on Sunday—AMEN! I guess I my attitude was molded because I was shoveled this shit since I came into this world. Not to mention, I was born out of wedlock; born of sin, they say—but of course not to my face.

Don’t forget the drug crowd. Pills, meth, crack, heroin—you name it, Harrisburg has it. Addicts stay where they can find the shit, so they aren’t leaving soon. Don’t let them get caught by the police. They will handcuff themselves, jump in the back of the squad car just so they can get to jail faster than their buddy so they can tell on the other first. Drugs have killed more people in this town than the gangstas toting gats. Drugs have also made more people turn against each other than religion. That is quite an accomplishment considering more people in the world have been killed in the name of God than any other act of violence known to man.

Let’s just say in this small town everybody knows everybody, and everybody’s business, or at least think they do. People around here are cool face to face, but as soon as you are out of ear hustling distance you are just the next victim on the social chopping block.

Who are you?

Curiosity may kill this cat, but I want to know. If you are a HughesNet customer who spent some time reading my blog today (November 3, 2014) around midnight, please contact me. Use my “Contact Me” page or just comment below and tell me who you are. I am strictly just curious, but if you are up for it, I may have a few very brief questions I would like you to answer. And there may be a gift involved. Thanks!
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Control.

controlLet’s talk about control. Who is in control? One answer: I am. I have realized lately that I was being controlled by the past, controlled by people who really don’t matter, and controlled by the almighty dollar. I have cut the cord on all of these. I have paid my penance in full for past mistakes, although I may have to start paying again for present mistakes—I may be awesome, but I am far from perfect. I have cut out the people who don’t matter. And I have taken a job I love, although I didn’t know how I would be able to handle a 9 to 5 job after working in my pajamas for so many years. I’m in a new city all by myself and I am enjoying the solitude of it all. Of course I miss my boys, my folks, and my friends, but it’s worth it. These past few weeks have reminded me just how important I am to my own self worth, happiness and future. Seems like I had taken a 6-8 month hiatus from who I really am. It is crazy how one person can get in my head, cloud my judgement, lie to me and have their own agenda. Sure I’m a nomad, but I am a nomad by choice. When it’s time for me to put down roots, I will. I don’t need somebody else to make this decision for me. And seriously, I always deserve the truth—the entire truth.

I’m getting back into my own groove again and it feels good. I had forgotten that I am more than capable of making important decisions all by myself. And if I’m not, I have a lot qualified friends who I trust to give their opinion if need be. Of course all my friends always tell me to do what makes me happy, but right now I am really having a hard time figuring that out. But, it will come.

I am definitely not unhappy, I just haven’t quite got to happy. I’ve said it before and I stand by it now, “I am a work in progress.” And I don’t see this changing anytime soon. I’m always growing, always learning and usually always smiling too. I have been accused of being cold and unemotional, but that’s how I’m programmed. Sometimes showing emotion makes me feel weak, but sometimes it empowers me. This week I have felt strong and I don’t want this feeling to end. So for now, I am in total control.
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Fall is awesome.

LeavesWhy I love Fall:

  • Hoodies.
  • Beautiful changing leaves on the side of Womble Mountain.
  • Coffee tastes better when it’s cold outside.
  • Bonfires.
  • Vegetable soup and Chili.
  • Curling up on the couch with a blanket.
  • Thanksgiving is just around the corner.
  • Brandon’s birthday.
  • Candy corn.
  • And finally good TV is back.

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